Today I am thankful for all the moments I have to look forward to in the next 4 years that will fly by in the blink of an eye and the beat of my heart. I found this photo on my desktop and it’s perfect for now as this photo was taken in 2008 when my daughter Brittaney graduated from Narragansett and this was her boyfriends cap. When he asked to put it on he was so cute with his toothless smile and I caught my breath because standing right there in front of me was my baby wearing his future. I had to take a photo because it was the second I realized he was my last, for real. My little boy was going to grow up and there was no way I could stop time. In this moment I saw lots of moments because I had been through it 4 times already with the other kids and not just graduation, but first girl friends, first dance, first prom, 8th grade graduation, learners permits, drivers license, first car and all those other little things in between that don’t seem big, but they are.
I don’t believe I will call myself an empty nester because of the age gap between the first and the last is 13 years I am hoping to be a Grammy so there will always be those little feet growing up in our house. Even if I am not a Grammy in the next 4 years it will be ok because I know Zach is on his way to being independent and embarking on his own journey and I’ve tried my best to help my kids be what they choose to be. It’s not easy letting go and I am a bit slow to process that sometimes, but I always come around. I am looking forward to the Spring dance and hoping Zach will go as that is a memory I want to share with him like the other kids and then it will be 8th grade graduation. That moment where your teenager is on that precipice of the adulthood jump and journey.
This photo grounds me right into the present because looking too far ahead only makes you lose sight what is happening right now. This photo allows me to see what is to come and to appreciate all the days we have to get there and that the moments will be that much sweeter for me. This photo also reminds me that he was little and he is learning and growing and trying to find his way and being a teenager isn’t easy. So, when I wonder what has gotten into him and how will we survive this stage, I can look at this picture and know he is exactly who and where he should be in any given moment he is at.
This photo reminds me of how blessed I am to have all of them and how much I have learned from them and what a better person they make me. I am grateful to be called their Mom and that I can share in this last journey for me with Zach through school, but the beginning of his high school journey and on to graduation.